Today, we bring to you brilliant quotes and funny memes to help lighten you up as you start a new day. Words from industry achievers that can help motivate and improve your daily lifestyle and productivity. Funny jokes that will make you laugh and make you feel great. After all, we’re your friend at Brompost. So read on below.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
– Louis Hector Berlioz
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
– Robert Bloch
Labor Day differs in every essential from other holidays of the year in any country. All other holidays are in a more or less degree connected with conflict and battles of man’s prowess over man, of strife and discord for greed and power, of glories achieved by one nation over another. Labor Day is devoted to no man, living or dead, to no sect, race or nation.
– Samual Gempers
Reason is the natural order of truth; but imagination is the organ of meaning.
– C.S. Lewis
Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important
– Lisa Hoffman
Mental Hospital Phone Menu
- Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
- Please select from the following options menu:
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
- If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
- If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
- If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.
- If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.
- This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
(Well, my job is done …..Your turn!)
Other Powerful Inspirational quotes
- “If you are capable people are happy to play with you.” – Tina Fey
- “You risk tears if you let yourself be tamed.” – Antonie de Sainte Exupry
- “Let grace and goodness be the principal loadstone of thy affections. For love which hath ends, will have an end; whereas that which is founded on true virtue, will always continue.” – John Dryden
- “Live well. It is the greatest revenge.” – The Talmund
- “The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in the right scale of values.” – Norman Thomas
- “The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we’d done were less real and important than they had been hours before.” – John Green
- “I think that when you invite people to your home, you invite them to yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey